I used to be one of those people who ruminated on every stupid thing I ever did when I laid awake in bed at night, and I've tried to learn not to do that because there's nothing that can be done about what's already happened. You have to just learn how to forgive yourself and move on.
It's not really the point of this thread I know, but if anyone is dealing with this, it's what I do:
1) Question if it was a malicious thing I did. If it was, resolve to right that wrong if possible. 2) If it wasn't, ask if there was anything I would do differently now, and if so, resolve to do that in the future. 3) Acknowledge that there are always things out of my control, and I cannot hate myself for being unable to see the future.
The things that usually stick with me the most are when I hurt someone unintentionally, especially when I say something thoughtless in the moment that I can't take back. This happens the most when I'm comfortable with people, and I stop thinking as much about the things I say because I feel secure.
For that reason I find it difficult to forget unkind things I've said to people, even if it wasn't meant unkindly.
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